So. It's been a while since I've written here. March was more cold weather and April is skipping along with Winter holding on until the bitter end. But, today was officially the worst day I've had since I've come here.
It was no one big catastrophic event. No bad break-up. No major work screw-up. No tragedy by most definitions. Part of me even feels a little bit guilty for feeling so shitty. Instead, it was the combined effort of many little things that finally had me running to the bathroom to cry (I'm not proud of it, but I did manage to do it quietly).
Other teachers that sprung lessons on me unexpectedly. Not being told that today was staff photo day-the one time I haven't washed my hair, or put on make-up, or brought a suit jacket to work and so will look like the frumpy, rubbish foreigner. This is on top of weeks of loneliness, and days of not speaking to anyone else because of language barriers, and not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing because nobody fucking tells me anything, and a weight problem I didn't use to have, and missing dust and noise and chaos and sunshine that feels like walking through apple juice, and always being tired, and not knowing what comes after this, and why did I come here in the first place?
