Typhoons are supremely uneventful. Before you protest, "But what about the little children!" - yesterday's was. A whole hullabaloo about a little excess wind and rain. Thank you Southerners, the bitch was calmed. I'm glad you know your place.
Oooh kay...so there some people that wouldn't agree, but they're dead, so they probably don't really give a flying saucer what I say anymore.
Pierce Brosnan was a no-show. Apparently he was busy singing along to ABBA whilst perfecting the placement of his grey streaks. Suaveness takes work.
Showing posts with label Typhoons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Typhoons. Show all posts
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Holding out for Pierce Brosnan
I forgot that Japan had typhoons. That's a lie. I didn't realize that Japan had typhoons. Oh, in my background mind-static I think I knew that they happened in the general vicinity, but they affected poor Asian countries, right? That's why they're poor. There's no point in building anything if it's just going to be huffed away. All that these weather-challenged spots really need is a celebrity trained in the art of disaster movies. Pierce Brosnan would get the job done. He would get them to safety and kiss the leading lady as the theme song soared through the streets and all the smiling villagers cheered.
Maybe I was too distracted by the prospect of (essentially) free travel and an amazing salary to question a few overactive pressure systems. I prefer to think I wasn't warned about them because I'm in Sendai, a city north enough that typhoons aren't really an event for us. Oh, we get a few days of rain and riding the bus becomes a soggy affair. We might briefly mention the sudden Edgar Allen Poe-ness over our morning coffee, but otherwise we don't really care. It's the South's problem. They have warmer winters, they can deal with a few of Nature's farts.
But, in a country where children spend as much of their time at school as gambling addicts do pawning their teaspoons, you become a wee bit concerned when kids get the day off. Concern quickly turns to pissed off when teachers don't.
"What do you do when you're a teacher in Japan that is technically on the job, but have nothing to do?", I hear you ask. Well...originally, I had planned to catch up on my Japanese study, but I was feeling rebellious. I feel rebellious a lot. I got distracted by trying to discover the historical source of the infamous Japanese slurp. I didn't find it. I prayed that Nature would up her PMSing in the desperate hope that we might be allowed to go home early, so that we could do nothing there. But she said, "No, you've got your paycheck and free travel so suck it. Besides, how would the other teachers stay entertained? They are having waaay too much fun laughing at how God took a leak on you this morning. 'Cause they all drive to work, and that's so funny."
I'm still not exactly sure what is supposed to happen if this thing hits ( if it hits, which it might not, if the Southerns have done their job and calmed the bitch down) . My plan - grab onto the nearest telephone pole and pray to Hello Kitty.
So, I sit in my wet socks to see if this typhoon - which is supposed to be the second nastiest since WW2 - gets exciting. If it does, I'm sure Pierce Brosnan will save us.
Maybe I was too distracted by the prospect of (essentially) free travel and an amazing salary to question a few overactive pressure systems. I prefer to think I wasn't warned about them because I'm in Sendai, a city north enough that typhoons aren't really an event for us. Oh, we get a few days of rain and riding the bus becomes a soggy affair. We might briefly mention the sudden Edgar Allen Poe-ness over our morning coffee, but otherwise we don't really care. It's the South's problem. They have warmer winters, they can deal with a few of Nature's farts.
But, in a country where children spend as much of their time at school as gambling addicts do pawning their teaspoons, you become a wee bit concerned when kids get the day off. Concern quickly turns to pissed off when teachers don't.
"What do you do when you're a teacher in Japan that is technically on the job, but have nothing to do?", I hear you ask. Well...originally, I had planned to catch up on my Japanese study, but I was feeling rebellious. I feel rebellious a lot. I got distracted by trying to discover the historical source of the infamous Japanese slurp. I didn't find it. I prayed that Nature would up her PMSing in the desperate hope that we might be allowed to go home early, so that we could do nothing there. But she said, "No, you've got your paycheck and free travel so suck it. Besides, how would the other teachers stay entertained? They are having waaay too much fun laughing at how God took a leak on you this morning. 'Cause they all drive to work, and that's so funny."
I'm still not exactly sure what is supposed to happen if this thing hits ( if it hits, which it might not, if the Southerns have done their job and calmed the bitch down) . My plan - grab onto the nearest telephone pole and pray to Hello Kitty.
So, I sit in my wet socks to see if this typhoon - which is supposed to be the second nastiest since WW2 - gets exciting. If it does, I'm sure Pierce Brosnan will save us.
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