Sunday, 13 March 2011

Sunday, 13 March 2011
I waited for over an hour in the queue at the combini this morning.  As I got to the front, I had to wait at the closed doors for someone to come out before I would be let in.  The doors were covered in newspaper.  For twenty minutes I stared at smudged black and white anonymous erections overflowing onto the impossible breasts of school girls.  I didn't know there was manga porn in newspapers.  Every day is indeed an opportunity to learn something new, especially for the children who received endless entertainment from pressing their faces to the glass doors.


Finally admitted inside, with only the choices of snack foods and stationery, I opted for calorie/vitamin/nutrient replacement delivery systems.  Wandered around for an hour, searching for Mr S, who had (unbeknown to me) finished at his store.  He slept over again last night, camping out in my lounge.  We dined on soup from the freezer, thanks to the discovery that my gas is working, and did tarot readings by candlelight for each other.

We took our first Number 2s this morning, which we wrapped in plastic bags and stored outside.

Cell phone contact is still sketchy.

My stomach is raging after I made a stew of veggies, tofu, beans and noodles that needed to be used up.  Feeling exhausted now and not quite sure what to do with myself, or whether I'm expected to go to work tomorrow.

Later that night
Stomach is still churning and stabbing my nervous system.  Feeling guilty about giving into the snack food.  Tidied up a bit, but now Mr S has gone back to his apartment to check on developments there and I'm at a complete loss at what to do.  Itching to wash myself but can't spare the water.

This Terrified Teenage Girl - so happy with the weight loss of the last few weeks - is guilt tripping me about the diet of refined carbohydates since Friday.  "But," Rational Thought whimpers, "I've had to walk way more that usual and stand in queues and return furniture to where it belongs!  The calories burned from the cold last night alone!  And it's not like I binged!"
"Yes, but," Terrified Teenage Girl butts in, " It's been eating for eating's sake or because Mr S is eating or out of fear that you might not get another chance to eat!  Forcing food down!  Probably out of dehydration more than hunger!  This is a disaster goddammit!  You should be getting skinnier!  Where are those fucking ribs?  The sunken cheeks?!?"

The underlying terror of yesterday.  We had gotten to the shelter, where they were filling bottles.  We had seen people leave with huge containers of water - 10 or 20 litres - only to be turned away when they ran out 5 minutes later.  If I had had the energy, fury would've slapped someone through the face that they had allowed people to leave with such large amounts when there were at least a hundred people in the queue, all in need - throats dry and heads muggy.

The fruit in the freezer has defrosted.  We'll have to try to eat as much as we can tonight, maybe the rest tomorrow.  After that, it will have to be thrown away. Just have to accept the losses.

It's getting dark.  Still no word from Mr S, or what I'm supposed to do tomorrow.  Am I expected to go to work without water or electricity?  It's getting cold too.  First time alone since the earthquake.  Didn't get water from the river.  We should still survive tonight, but will have to go tomorrow.

The silence and the dark creep in.  My painkillers don't seem to have been very effective.  Phone is nearly dead.

After sunset
Electricity is back!  I'm a little sad that the camping is over, but Not Having To Freeze Another Night sweeps Sadness away.